Happy Spring! With flowers
budding and leaves sprouting I am reminded of my childhood when I promised my
parents I would “turn over a new leaf” whenever I made a poor choice and had to
face the consequences. Maybe this
spring is time for some of us to “turn over a new leaf” in terms of the way we
discipline our children. Tired of your
old ways? Do you find yourself
repeating things a million times , feeling frustrated, emotionally drained and
wanting to resort to physical discipline, thinking that is the answer? It isn’t.
And you are not alone.
I would like to suggest a better, more
efficient and effective way to teach your children appropriate and acceptable
behaviors that will allow you to maintain your energy level (and your sanity)
and not turn into your “evil twin.” My
suggestion is 1-2-3-Magic, a philosophy of discipline founded by Dr. Thomas
Phelan. He states that his mission is
to help parents raise happy, competent youngsters and put the fun back into
parenting. Yes, fun! I would like to share a few key ideas and
then suggest you visit www.parentmagic.com
if your interest is peaked!
Dr. Phelan tells us that the two biggest
mistakes parents make in dealing with their children are too much talking and
too much emotion. Talking is bad
because it either doesn’t work or it takes you through the
talk-persuade-argue-yell-hit syndrome.
Why is too much emotion destructive?
When kids are little, they feel inferior, because they are!! They can be cute and lovable, but they are
also smaller, less intelligent, less skillful, and less responsible than their
parents and older kids. This “lessness”
bugs them! They don’t like it. They do like to feel they are powerful and
capable of making some mark in the world.
A child likes to feel powerful; that power temporarily rewards or feels
good to the inferior part of the child.
If you have a child who is doing something you don’t like, getting real
upset about it on a regular basis, than sure enough, he or she will repeat it
for you!!!! Remember that a child who
is testing you is offering you a deal:
Give me what I want and my badgering, temper tantrum, threat or
martyrdom will end immediately! Does
that sound like a threat you can’t refuse?
Accept it and you are in big trouble!
If the experiences I have shared sound familiar to you, and you are thinking you want to “turn over a new leaf”, save your sanity, lower your blood pressure and effectively teach your children to be happy and competent youngsters, please check out Dr. Phelan’s book, “1-2-3 magic, Effective Discipline for Children 2 – 12, New Third Addition.” He teaches proven techniques that are guaranteed to work if followed correctly. It all comes down to 3 simple steps. Simple sounds wonderful. Good Luck!
Katie Haig
School Counselor
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